dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
