ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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