He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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