Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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