So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Drake has all the answers
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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