You can't motorboat a personality
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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