Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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