Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
