I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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