Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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