wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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