I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
