Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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