my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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