Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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