I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
