at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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