i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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