I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize