Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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