Duck Duck Cougar?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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