Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
