What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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