We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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