my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.