2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
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When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...