So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?