i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
