Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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