My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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