This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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