I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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