oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
