i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
