He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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