the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
