I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
