On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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