Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
