I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
