sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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