I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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