We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
