talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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