Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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