I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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