I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
