You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
