Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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