I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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