He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
