just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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