hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
