This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
