i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
