The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
