is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
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during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize