Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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